Author: Debbie Emery

Associated Press

The late-night talk shows had a universal theme Monday night: the Donald Sterling racism scandal.

David Letterman made the Los Angeles Clippers owner the topic of his Top 10 list, with “Top 10 People Donald Sterling Looks Like.”

Included in the compilation were “the guy who licks his fingers after pulling cash off a wad,” “the guy who hits on a bride at her wedding,” Mickey Rourke and at No. 1, “the soon-to-be former owner of the Los Angeles Clippers.”

The Late Show host quipped: “It must be terribly embarrassing for this guy to be identified as the owner of the Clippers,” adding: “Earlier today he was rushed to the Paula Deen rehab facility in Georgia.”

STORY: Magic Johnson: ‘I Will Never Go to a Clippers Game Again’ After Owner’s Racist Rant

Jimmy Fallon jumped straight into the controversy at the start of his monologue. “Here’s what people are talking about. Of course, it’s Clippers owner Donald Sterling. This guy is in trouble.

“Even Mel Gibson was like, ‘Just stop talking.’ And get this. Some people are actually defending Sterling, saying he has a very good record of hiring minorities. For instance, he always has at least one white guy on the team,” said Fallon.

“In their defense, Sterling and the Clippers released a statement saying they weren’t sure if the tape was even real. Though it’s still not a good sign if you hear your voice on a racist rant and go, ‘That might be me? That sounds like something I might’ve said.’

“And this is pretty awkward. Donald Sterling was actually scheduled to receive a lifetime achievement award from the NAACP, but the organization has now called off the ceremony,” the Tonight Show host went on to reveal. “Yeah, it turns out black people don’t want to be photographed with him either. It seems like everyone’s weighing in. Even President Obama is calling Donald Sterling’s racist remarks “incredibly offensive.” And you know it’s bad when even Putin was like, “I hate to say it, but I am with Obama on this one.”

STORY: NAACP to Return Donald Sterling Donations, Says ‘There’s Room for Forgiveness’

Jimmy Kimmel joked about the L.A. fans’ reaction to the incident. “Does anyone want to buy a pair of Clippers season tickets?” he asked the audience. “I’ll give you a great deal on them.

“Sterling was apparently upset because she [his girlfriend] posted a picture of herself on Instagram – posing with Magic Johnson. And he was upset not because Magic is a former Laker – he was upset because she was quote ‘publicly associating with black people.’ And Magic is a black people.”

He went on to also refer to the Gibson: “The male voice belongs to Donald Sterling. Although, if I was him, I’d say it was Mel Gibson.

“Sterling insists that he is not a racist – he says some of his best credit cards are black.”

STORY: Donald Sterling Controversy: More Sponsors Ending Partnership With L.A. Clippers

Arsenio Hall, meanwhile, took a selfie with a life-size cutout of the Clippers owner.

“If Donald Sterling was upset that his girlfriend was being Instagrammed with black people, imagine how upset he would be if there were pictures of him on Instagram with black people,” he said, before posing for the shot, which he described as “Ebony and Bigotry.”

The Arsenio Hall Show host later joked, “Now I know why it’s so hard to get good chicken wings at a Clippers game.

Conan O’Brien took a different angle on the racism backlash. “After the audio was released, the NAACP decided not to honor Donald Sterling with a ‘Lifetime Achievement’ award. Instead they’re giving him the ‘Reason We Still Need an NAACP’ award.

“It’s being reported that the girlfriend of Donald Sterling may have 100 more hours of his racist audio. Or as Rush Limbaugh calls that, ‘A month’s worth of talk radio,’ ” he joked.

“Today, in an interview, Donald Trump called Donald Sterling’s remarks disgusting and his girlfriend ‘a terrible human being.’ Trump then said, ‘That’s why I’ve asked them both join the next season of Celebrity Apprentice.’

“The LA Clippers staged a protest of their owner’s racist remarks by wearing their uniforms inside out,” O’Brien went on to say. “Meanwhile, the L.A. Lakers have been wearing their uniforms inside out so no one would know they play for the Lakers,” he quipped, referring the rival team’s terrible record this season.

Later on NBC, Seth Meyers announced big news for Pope Francis, “It looks like he is giving up his season tickets for the Clippers, and no one is happier than the people sat behind him as it’s hard to see with that huge hat.”

The Late Night host went to have a special segment of “Couple of Things.” “First thing, ‘yikes!’ It is 2014, that is the year we live in and also how racist you are on a scale of one to 10.

“If you dislike black people so much, it seems you got into the wrong line of work. If you had wanted to stay away from black people you could have bought a hockey team or Steely Dan.

After announcing that he would be leaving the Late Late Show in December, Craig Ferguson hit on the hot topic of the day. “You know it is bad when you get caught on tape with your mistress and it is what you said that is bad.

“Every NBA fan in L.A. knows there is a dark cloud hanging over the Staples Center, but enough about the Lakers,” he said, before throwing in a jab about the Washington Redskins. “But at least they get to play on Thanksgiving.”

Lloyd Bishop/NBC

“Late Night With Seth Meyers”

How did the Game of Thrones cast actually celebrate the Purple Wedding? Actress Natalie Dormer told Seth Meyers on Tuesday that rather then getting caught up with the dark drama of the shocking episode  — “It was done so well, like a whodunit,” she said —  the cast had their own party on set. 

PHOTOS: ‘Game of Thrones’: Joffrey’s 10 Most Evil Moments

“We all got to be together for a week. There was a lot of scrabble played on iPads. It was so hot in Croatia so all the girls sat with our skirts hitched up,” she laughed.

To celebrate Earth Day, Meyers also wrote a love letter to the Earth: “We’re not even your best looking species, we can’t all be dolphins.” Meanwhile Sofia Vergara told the Late Night host that when the Modern Family cast went to film in Australia: “We were like rock stars,” however, the jet lag was awful. “I am not a spring chicken anymore. I felt hungover for a week.”

John Oliver was on a self-deprecating roll on Tuesday: after being teased by Jimmy Fallon about his recent The Hollywood Reporter cover and attending last week’s party celebrating the 35 Most Powerful People in New York Media list, the Last Week Tonight host went on to reveal his most extreme heckling experience, which occurred during a comedy tour for U.S. troops in Afghanistan.

PHOTOS: Anna Wintour, Bill O’Reilly, Alec Baldwin Celebrate THR’s Most Powerful People in NY Media

“It never occurred to me that they would be so heavily armored,” he said, explaining that everyone in the audience was holding a gun, and he asked one man with a huge weapon pointed at him: “‘Does your finger have to be on the trigger?’ and he replied, ‘Nope.’ And that was that,” he said in his signature deadpan style.

Sports fan Fallon went on to nominate special NHL playoff awards for superlatives, such as the player “most likely to get a penalty for frosted tips,” “most likely to be two people sewn together,” and “worst at darts.”

Guest David Duchonvy recalled how a homeless man recognized him in downtown L.A. during the first season of The X Files, but mispronounced his name, saying it “with at least four ‘n’s.” And when it comes to the final season of Californication, he described the series as a romantic comedy, adding, “It is impossible to please everyone, but I am happy with it,” he said.

VIDEO: Stephen Colbert Visits David Letterman: ‘I’m Thrilled’

Over on ABC, Jimmy Kimmel interviewed veteran comedian Don Rickles, who joked: “What a night, what a night, I’m on a show that’s not making it… I’m kidding, he’s the best!” He then claimed that: “Johnny Depp called me from Japan, I asked ‘What do you want?’ … I know he is a cheap date because he dresses up like a monkey.”

Emily Deschanel also told the Jimmy Kimmel Live! host that her son is “mostly vegan… it really sucks,” admitting that he thinks almonds are candy.

STORY: John Oliver Celebrates His THR Cover With Jimmy Fallon

As for the ninth season of Bones, “we kill so many people but we can’t kill the show.

Over on CBS’ Late Show, Stephen Colbert took a tour of his future late-night home. The Colbert Report host chatted with David Letterman, who gave his successor a particularly warm welcome. Colbert also shared several brushes he’d had with the TV veteran in his younger years — including being offered an internship with Letterman’s then-show (Late Night on NBC) in 1986, and submitting to write for Late Show in 1997.

NBC

Jimmy Fallon invited one of his favorite guests back to The Tonight Show on Monday, when NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams came on the show.

PHOTOS: Jimmy Fallon, Megyn Kelly: Exclusive Portraits of THR’s Most Powerful People in NY Media

True to form, Williams was the subject of another “Rapper’s Delight” video, which featured the familiar formula of clips of Williams reporting the news spliced together to make it seem like he’s rapping.

The latest creation, titled “Gin and Juice,” featured classic lines from Snoop Dog‘s hit such as, “I’ve got a pocket full of rubbers and my homeboys do too… Sipping on gin and juice, with my mind on my money and my money on my mind.”

Over on ABC, Jimmy Kimmel pitched a super fan up against her idol, Katy Perry, in a game of “Who Knows Katy?” The singer lost out to her devoted follower, who won a pillow for answering questions like “Why was Katy thrown out of school?”

Billy Bob Thornton was also on Jimmy Kimmel Live! talking about his family Easter egg hunt — “I’m getting old and don’t see too well so for me they hide traffic cones” — his strangest auditions (such as having to pretend to shoot someone with a stapler), and his dark new role on Fargo. 

VIDEO: Jimmy Fallon Belts it Out With Billy Joel 

On CBS, David Letterman asked Courteney Cox something she’s heard a million times, if there is going to be a Friends reunion.

“You’re sick of that question aren’t you?” he quizzed her.

“It’s not going to happen,” said the actress firmly. “There are six friends and I have been trying to put together a cast dinner for 10 years — it ain’t going to happen. You can get the girls, and maybe Matthew Perry will come, Matt LeBlanc canceled right at the last minute,” she explained, venting her frustrations. 

On the Late Late Show, Craig Ferguson chatted with George Lopez about his recent health kick, “It was time to turn over a new leaf,” confessed the comedian. “I had an incident in a casino — anybody seen it? — I wanted to get up with less strain if I was going to fall down drunk,” he joked, referring to a recent night when he was arrested after passing out in a Canadian casino.

Lifelong Red Sox fan Seth Meyers began his show with a dedication to the people of Boston and being thankful that the marathon was run safely this year, while noting that his beloved baseball team had lost their annual game after the race. 

He went on to welcome John McCain, and the 2008 Republican presidential nominee joked that he had only asked Sarah Palin to be his running mate because she looked like a certain Saturday Night Live cast member. “It made Tina Fey famous forever — that’s why I selected her,” he said.