Let’s all just agree that these are not OK.
"I drive better when I'm drunk/high."
1) You don't.
2) Saying that you do makes it seem like an OK thing to even attempt, which it is NOT.
"This [tasty food item] is like crack."
We get it, you think it's addictive. But crack addiction devastates lives and sometimes entire communities. It's just a weirdly culturally tone-deaf, totally unnecessary thing to say.
"Stop being a crackhead."
See previous. But even worse.
"I just raped you, dude!" (while playing video games or something)
1) No you didn't.
2) Rape is not a casual, funny punchline. Although the debate rages on.