Come on guys, a deep V-neck is not the way to begin your quest for a bride.
Because, you know, the show is still happening. It will always be happening. And having undertaken a painstaking analysis of the guys' outfits, here's a list of their likely placement on the show — from the unlucky few falling at the first hurdle to new Bachelorette Desiree's likely new husband.
(Except when we say husband we mean guy she's temporarily engaged to for a few months before their inevitable breakup plays out in the tabloids.)
Nick.
Nick lists his occupation as "tailor/magician," but he certainly couldn't — wait for it, wait for it — CONJURE UP A BETTER LOOK. Or, you know, just make one himself.
Verdict: First night boot.
p.s. the jokes get better from here on out. Promise
Via: beta.abc.go.com
Larry.
Looking more like a well-groomed member of the on-set catering staff than a real contender, Larry's luck will likely run out as soon as the hors d'oeuvres do. (The crisp white shirt underlies his commitment to anti-perspirant however, which is to be commended.)
Verdict: First night boot.
Via: beta.abc.go.com
Dan.
It's never worth trusting a guy whose shirt design includes buttons just for the sake of it. Never. (It's also never worth trusting a guy who needs to buy his pomade at Costco, though it's worth dating him — when you're not under reality TV show lockdown — for a while to stock up on kitchen roll and batteries.)
Verdict: First night boot.
Via: beta.abc.go.com
