Let's properly celebrate this wonderful holiday rooted in 2,000 year-old martyrdom — with lots of bad penis jokes.
Wurst
Wurst is a Bavarian restaurant and beer hall in Calgary.
There will be many men (and some women) begging their lovers to do anal for the first time on the 14th.
Fart By Mail
This does not appear to be a secret ad for Gas-X.
You can order one here (it costs $8.99).
Your fart is delivered in a pink envelope. You can either warn your lover with a printed message, or send it stealthily. When he/she opens the envelope, he/she is met with a "hilarious fart sound," and a "heinous odor."
Bud Light
Speaking of farts...
Summer's Eve
Ladies, make sure your Down There is up to snuff for the BIG NIGHT.
