Asking someone you like out and being turned down can be tough.
Don't take it personally.
On one hand, there's nothing more personal than someone saying they don't want to date you. On the other hand, there are so many other factors in play that may truly have nothing to do with you. The main thing to remember is: No one enjoys rejecting someone unless they're a narcissistic sociopath (in which case, you dodged a bullet). It's not going to work because it's not going to work, and overanalyzing it will only drive you crazy.
Julia Pugachevsky / BuzzFeed
Really listen to what the other person is saying.
When you like someone a lot and really hope you can end up together, it can be hard to hear what they're saying to you without injecting your own meaning. Phrases like "I just want to stay friends" can seem like there's hope for love to grow in the future; hearing something like "It's not the right time" can make you feel like waiting around is the key. Of course the other person will sugarcoat a bit to spare your feelings, but the best you can do is realize that, no, they don't want to date you, and that there isn't some code you're supposed to break.
Julia Pugachevsky / BuzzFeed
Be nice.
This one's obvious, but be cordial. Don't accuse them of leading you on, don't lash out at them in any way, and for the love of god don't use the word "friend zone" and diminish the friendship that you had until this point. You don't have to be overly friendly, but be polite when you seem them. If they rejected you kindly, you owe it to them to be kind back. And if you truly believe they led you on on purpose or derived some kind of twisted joy from shutting you down, then staying calm will ultimately keep them from knowing that they got to you. It's a win-win, really.
Julia Pugachevsky / BuzzFeed
But also give yourself space if you need it.
You are in no way obligated to keep hanging out with someone 24/7 if the main emotion you're feeling is crippling agony. If seeing their name pop up on your phone causes your heart to race until the point of nausea, consider distancing yourself. There's nothing wrong with openly stating that you want space, either. Sure, it might upset the other person to hear this, but your mental and emotional health is most important, so do what you gotta do and don't apologize.
Julia Pugachevsky / BuzzFeed
