*From the viewpoint of a grossly unathletic person.
On Oct. 25, as part of my best friend Lisa's birthday celebration, I reluctantly agreed to participate in the NYC Zombie Run, a marathon race involving 3.1 miles of running, surprise obstacle courses, and, of course, plenty of zombies.
1. I never understood why zombies are considered so scary.
2. Aren't they supposed to be slow? Can't you just run away forever? Or just build a stone fort?
3. They also seem kind of clumsy and not particularly well-balanced, like you could just topple them over.
4. I got this. I totally got this. My two times a week on the elliptical and occasional Pilates classes have trained me well.
5. OK, they're debriefing us in a tent. I still don't understand why we're— OH MY GOD ZOMBIES JUST RAN INTO THE TENT.
6. Fear has caused my vision to blur.
7. I'm in the woods now, still running, Lisa at my side. The five other people in our group are somewhere ahead of us, the lucky souls.
8. We're both struggling to breathe, but are too afraid to look back or stop.
9. We ran about 15 feet and we can't anymore. We'll take our chances and slow down.
10. Phew. Coast is clear? Maybe?
11. We're walking through a nice wooded area. It's actually a picturesque autumn day.
12. ...Until we come across a zombie taking up the whole path, a bandanna obscuring his mouth. He is growling. And waiting for us to dare cross.
13. We both take either side and try to run around. But it's futile — we each just lost one of our three lives. It's been five minutes.
14. Zombies are popping out from the trees left and right and it's pretty terrifying.
15. The trick is to slow down before trying to dodge, but to also wait for another group to catch up behind you. Then, when someone else tries to go first, you run around the zombie while they're distracted.
16. Oh god, I'm a terrible person. I'm literally waiting for other people to serve as sacrifices because I'm a sub-par runner.
17. But, let's be real: Running is THE WORST. I'd rather have shady moral values than do something like jog consistently.
Zombie Run / Via Facebook: media
