I asked friends and colleagues for anonymous submissions and I have come to the conclusion that the education system breeds sociopaths.
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One time the music department bought keyboards for everyone. We immediately discovered that these keyboards could make synthesized cow and sheep noises. Naturally every class from that point onwards was soundtracked by 25 farmyard noises going off all at once, for 30 minutes. It was just relentless. I remember the teacher literally running out of the classroom crying.
I convinced the chemistry teacher there was a cat on the room, which ended with him on his hands and knees trying to find it.
Our school was chosen to host the annual teachers' conference day because we were the 'best behaved in the borough'. So the boys in my class let all the teachers' tires down and one pooed on the headmistress' windscreen.
