Get ready for some harsh real talk.
The Player
The player is one of the worst dating types to avoid. They're usually super busy either gettin' busy with others behind your back OR taking glamorous bathroom mirror selfies. Players need to accumulate a portfolio of flattering selfies to send to their millions of girlfriends and boyfriends to keep them interested. Meanwhile, you really, really have to pee. But too bad! The bathroom is occupied until the perfect selfie is achieved. If you ever want to use the bathroom again, do not date a player.
Warning sign: Is in the bathroom right now
The Commitmentphobe
If the person you're dating is afraid of commitment, they've already made a huge mistake. They've let you see that they're afraid. And showing fear is a sign of weakness. Now that you know that they're weak, you can destroy them. If you wanna. There are real things to be afraid of like bees and sharks and tidal waves. They're scared of a loving relationship? Is the big bad commitment hiding under your bed? Are you scarwed, spelled with a "w" to indicate a baby is saying it?
Warning sign: Cries during Olive Garden commercials.
The Workaholic
You know what they say: "work hard, play hard." If you date someone who works hard, prepare to feel their wrath when it's play time. Next thing you know, little Monopoly houses are all over the floor and you're huddle in the corner crying because they played way too hard. You're evacuating to a safe house because they brought out Scattergories. That's no way to live. If you ever want to play a board game without fearing for your life, do not date a workaholic.
Warning sign: loves board games
The Emotionally Unavailable
It's hard to have a relationship with someone who won't open up and communicate. If you're dating someone who is emotionally unavailable--get ready for some serious sci-fi junk because you are not dating a real human being. We're talking about a highly sophisticated form of artificial intelligence here. Did your see the movie "Her"? Joaquin Phoenix didn't seem to mind gettin' busy with a manmade personality, but is it really for you? Are you really gonna marry a robot? And have half-human-half-robot babies? It sounds kind of nice actually. OR DOES IT?
Warning sign: Is somehow a Wi-Fi hotspot
