WARNING : Only attempt these if you are a moderate-to-severe D-bag.
Clip your fingernails.
How to not suck: Ride subway; arrive home and clip fingernails.
Lean on the pole instead of holding it.
How to not suck: Hold subway pole with hand; ride subway.
Shove your way onto the train without letting people off first.
How to not suck: Let departing passengers exit first; ride subway.
Eat stinky food on a crowded rush hour train.
How to not suck: 1. Eat food 2. Ride subway. Or, 1. Ride subway 2. Eat food.