When you can’t be Facebook for the fourth consecutive year.
Take a Sharpie to a plain white tee and you get a 404 Error.
Nonchalant attitude must be learned, however.
Affix clothing and dryer sheets to yourself to personify static cling.
Or my floor after picking up the laundry, amiright?
A plaid shirt and rugged stubble can help you identify as a Brawny man.
Or woman. Or dog.
Buddy up with a thinner doppelganger and go as a before-and-after weight loss ad.
Good luck finding your facial twin. And if not, "BEFORE" and "AFTER" sign necklaces will do the trick.
