"I'm trying to pee quickly — I'm sort of pushing to get the pee out, and it's too much pressure. And out the back, pop! Just, pop!"
Louis C.K. was a surprise guest at last month's at annual Inner Circle dinner, standing alongside New York City mayor Bill de Blasio.
"They asked me to do this thing where I went onstage with him, and he'd say something polite about a subject and I'd say the bad thing — it was fun," the comedian recalled while on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon on Tuesday night. Like, he has a goal of zero pedestrians in New York City, that's our goal, and I said, "The only way you're gonna get there is if you have zero stupid people.' They just walk with their phones in their face, they get killed the way it used to be lions, now it's taxis. It's natural selection."
Overall, he was relieved the bit landed well — right before he went onstage, he rushed to used to the bathroom as to not keep the mayor waiting.
"I'm trying to pee quickly — I'm sort of pushing to get the pee out, and it's too much pressure. And out the back, pop! Just, pop!" he told the audience with a shrug. "I'm a urinal, and boom, out the back. ... Boom, I've got wet underwear, and the mayor's waiting for me. I couldn't do anything, I'm like, 'We gotta go.'
So I follow the guy, walking like you'd have to walk, and there's people — Chuck Schumer, senator of New York, George Stephanopoulos, all these people — and then they took me to this little waiting area, and I stood there for 45 minutes."
He continued, "I'm standing there and I'm kind of drying off. ... And then I stood next to the mayor of New York City and did a whole thing with poop in my pants. It's the kind of stuff that happens."
Lesson learned, he said. "I should've let the pee just ease out. ... Don't hurry in life."
Watch the video below.
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