Let’s put an end to text message breakups.
Don't stall.
"You don't need permission or a 'good enough' reason to break up with someone," Harris O'Malley, who writes Paging Dr. NerdLove, tells BuzzFeed Life. "There will always be a reason it's a 'bad time' to break up. There's always a birthday or a holiday coming up. Once you've reached this point, it's best to get it over with so you can both move on."
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed
Talk to the other person's best self.
"Plan to talk to the best self that you know is in there, even if their worst self is all you can see at the moment," Dana Caspersen, conflict specialist and author of Changing the Conversation: The 17 Principles of Conflict Resolution, tells BuzzFeed Life. "People tend to step up or step down to the level on which we engage them."
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed
Do it privately, and in person if possible.
"If you're in a long-term relationship, your partner deserves the respect of being broken up with face to face," O'Malley says. But if you struggle to stand up to your partner or organize your thoughts, he says, you may want to do it via phone or email.
Also, do it in private, at a time when you won't be interrupted. If you do it in public, "you're not just hurting them, you're humiliating them," O'Malley says.
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed
Actually use the words "break up."
"The dawning realization that you're being dumped really hurts," O'Malley says. "It almost feels like an insult in a way." So say "I think we should break up" or "I'm breaking up with you" at the beginning of the conversation.
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed
