Lady Valor , the documentary that follows the former Navy SEAL’s life after coming out as a trans woman, pushes the envelope of trans representation. And Beck wouldn’t have it any other way.
Kristin Beck
CNN
In 2013, Kristin Beck became the first former Navy SEAL to come out as transgender, which instantly placed her as one of the most high-profile figures in the meteoric shift in the national conversation about transgender rights. In person, she is instantly open and friendly, happy to talk about just about anything, but her voice hovers just a few notches above a whisper and never any louder, and her demeanor can at times read as diffident, almost shy. In fact, if you had not heard of her, you could be forgiven for never guessing she is an activist who regularly travels the country for speaking engagements, let alone a decorated veteran with 20 years of some of the most grueling combat experiences a soldier can have.
But, according to Beck, there is one thing you would definitely know about her upon meeting her for the first time.
"Imagine me walking down the street," she told BuzzFeed in March at the SXSW Film Festival. "It's obvious. It's like, Wow, there's a dude in a dress."
It is one of several eye-opening, unexpected things Beck said over the course of a far-ranging interview after the world premiere of Lady Valor: The Kristin Beck Story, the feature documentary about her life after coming out as transgender. (CNN will debut the film, directed by Sandrine Orabona and Mark Herzog, on Sept. 4 at 9 p.m. as part of its CNN Films unit.) From her views on certain central elements of trans representation — such as mis-gendered pronouns, and before-and-after portraits — to how much she's learned about her journey from talking with the Taliban, Beck is definitely fearless about challenging anyone's expectations about who she is, and what she believes.
CNN / Via youtube.com
What was it like watching the film for the first time with an audience?
Kristin Beck: I saw it one time before in a very private screening. I was still kind of in shock watching it. I think I'm a lot prettier in real life (laughs). I think that's what everybody thinks. I'm like, Oh my god, I have to lose some weight. I have to do my makeup. I gotta do my hair. My hair sucks. All the little things I would pick at myself, and you see it up there and it's on there forever. It's scary.
One of the things that struck me was how much footage there was of you before you started your transition, especially of you as a SEAL. There is a growing awareness that fixating on how a trans person appeared before transitioning is problematic, because it's not how that person self-identifies. How did you feel about that part of the film and the process?
KB: That's something that comes up a lot when everybody says I was "born in the wrong body." It's a very common term that people say. I'm not in the wrong body. This was the body that I was given. One gentleman asked me about my knee and some of my injuries, and I say, "It just — it hurts. And I deal with it. It's painful, and I deal with it. And I just try to do the best I can from that point."
It doesn't totally match up with some of the way that I feel — it gets religious if I say "soul" or if I say "spirit." It's not religious. I don't know what it is. But there's something inside that this is what I've got, and I have to deal with it. And my life prior, as a Navy SEAL, it's still part of my life. I don't want to deny it and say that I hate it. There's a lot of things I'd like to change. And now I'm doing that. But for me to hate that, for me to turn it all off and say, "I never did that," and totally black it out would be a disservice to my journey.
Even the sucky parts made me what I am right now, you know? I just want to drive on, and give a little tribute to that. There's always painful things in everybody's lives, so don't totally turn it off and deny it. Use it and try to be better. That's what I'm trying to do.
I talk way too much, I'm sorry.
It's OK! So when people write stories about you, and use before-and-after photos, how do you feel about that part of it? It's not you telling your story, or you working with someone to tell your story, but someone else that you have no connection to doing it.
KB: Well, it's still me. I think they misrepresent it a lot, and they try to just show that dichotomy in my life. That's why my earrings are a skull and a peace sign. I'm a little bit complicated. It's something that I accept. I just hope they do it the right way. A lot of times they do. I don't know. It's odd sometimes when I see it. I hope one day they start focusing on the goodness of the whole thing instead of stark contrast. I mean, the contrast is pretty wide. But I hope that people look at it and go, [If] I'm able to get through this huge, huge contrast of life, they can get through these little mini contrasts of life. If you want to dye your hair purple, man, go for it. It's not that big of a deal. If you want to change your job, because right now you're a reporter and you always wanted to be a schoolteacher, that's not as big of a jump that I'm making right now. So if they want to use that contrast to say that as humans we can do a lot of cool stuff, your little contrast, your little change, your little micro-jump, it's not that big a deal. So go for it.
