On a scale from 1 to 50 Shades of Grey .
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
Naughty bit: "I am not concerned with so-called 'sex' at all. Anybody can imagine those elements of animality. A greater endeavor lures me on: to fix once for all the perilous magic of nymphets."
Not sexy, guys. Bottom of the list. Basically off of it. Just dangling there.
John Bertram
Verdict: 1 out of 50 Shades of Grey
Getty Images / Frederick M. Brown
Memories of My Melancholy Whores by Gabriel García Márquez
Naughty bit: "As I kissed her the heat of her body increased, and it exhaled a wild, untamed fragrance." "Blood circulated through her veins with the fluidity of a song that branched off into the most hidden areas of her body and returned to her heart, purified by love."
Pretty sexy, if you're into sadness.
Penguin / Via goldenboz.tumblr.com
Verdict: 9 out of 50 Shades of Grey
Getty Images / Frederick M. Brown
