The straight-up TRUTH about cats and dogs.
"Rover is Grandma's dog's name."
"Rover is the generic for brand-name dog."
"It is so cliche, it's almost hip, like naming your son John."
"I could see Rover being the next hipster baby name."
"It's what you name your dog if you are in a 1950s sitcom and everyone loves each other."
"No one names a dog Fido. Only dogs in the movies have been named Fido."
"I honestly could not even name you a fictional dog named Fido. Where did we all get this idea that Fido is a common dog name?"
"I think it means faithful?"
"OK yeah, Fido is dumb."
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"Max: What a frat dog name."
"Max is a big dumb dog with bad hip joints."
"Max's owner is definitely wearing a basketball jersey. A green one. Whatever the green team is."
"Max is a golden retriever in a rom com."
"Fuck a Princess."
"Princess seems like a temporary name they give for a cat up for adoption."
"When a dog is named Princess, you can automatically assume it is the worst behaved animal ever."
"Princess is the name of the dog on the plane next to you. It probably fits in a purse, but never wants to stay in the purse."
"And it pees on the bed."
"It pees everywhere."
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