May 31st, 2014 marks the 16-year anniversary of when Geri Halliwell left the most successful girl group of all-time. Rather than mourn the occasion, let’s celebrate the group’s body of work with a look at every single Spice Girls song ever released.
41. WEEKEND LOVE
ALBUM: Forever
Once you hear those synthesized plucks, echo-y finger snaps, and Emma’s cheese-ball “La-La-La-La’s”, you’ll understand why this is the only Spice Girls song that I consider down-right BAD. With a “sway-back-and-forth-with-a-lighter”-type melody, the (four) girls tell their one night stands that they don’t want anything to do with them anymore: “We’re playing games, we’re only young/Get with it, it was just a weekend love.” Not only does that not rhyme, but it’s kind of rude. If a guy were to sing that, he’d be labeled as a pig. And putting those lyrics to a sickeningly sweet melody is just bizarre.
Despite the poorly-written song, the girls sound nice. Victoria even belts a little bit! If Victoria attempting to belt isn't enough to knock you out of your seat, Mel B’s sudden rap right after the bridge surely is. It’s so jarring that it feels like someone is repeatedly slapping you in the face: “Everytime I turn around, you’re standing right there/I really don’t want you, and I really don’t care.” Come on, girls. Haven’t you ever heard of letting a guy down gently? There comes a point where Mel B tries to flip it around on the guy and make the whole song seem like a feminist statement (“You play the game baby, I can play the game, too!”), but it just doesn’t work. As if all of that wasn't enough, the rap ends as abruptly as it began, culminating into a hilarious, Broadway-style key change back into the chorus.
The song is deliciously ridiculous from beginning to end, and after a few spins, you’ll be weeping into your pillow screaming, “GERI NEVER WOULD HAVE ALLOWED THIS TO HAPPEN!!”
40. STEP TO ME
ALBUM: Cut from Spiceworld
“Step to Me” was only included in the Japanese release of Spiceworld, and it contains the predictable mixture of Girl Power attitude and sweetness. Throw a Mel B rap in there, and you have a pretty paint-by-numbers Spice Girls song. The production sounds like a re-hashing of one of their previous tunes, and the girls sound like they sang through it once in the studio and were quickly over it. Geri and the Mels can growl all they want, but none of it helps to make the song particularly interesting.
39. DENYING
ALBUM: Spiceworld
Spiceworld is, without a doubt, the Spice Girls’ greatest era. The funky “Denying,” however, is the weakest track on the album. But it does have some fun little moments! The first verse starts things off strong, and Geri’s “Who the Hell’dya think you’re talkin’ to?” always made the ten year-old me feel so edgy and grown up. And “Check yourself, but don’t forget yourself” is a phrase I still use to this day. The song is a constant simmering pot of Girl Power that never quite reaches a full boil, but it’s not bad by any means.
38. BABY COME ROUND
B-Side to "Mama"/"Who Do You Think You Are"
I think four of the girls forgot to set their alarms and slept through the recording session, because this is just a Mel C solo. I’m not complaining or anything. Good ol’ Sporty can sing her ass off. But if I just wanted a Mel C solo, I’d buy one of her (AMAZING) solo albums. Oh, wait... Just when you start to think the other girls weren’t invited to the party, Mel B decides to show up with (surprise, surprise) a rap. It’s sweet, fairly catchy, and showcases the group’s most talented vocalist, but it’s not a song you’ll find yourself playing over and over again.
