Get me a f&*%ing epidural.
iStock/Alex Bramwell
1. Oww. That hurts.
2. I think I'm in labor.
3. I should go to the hospital.
4. Where is that bag I packed?
5. Oh — who the hell cares — I'M IN LABOR!
6. I see some dirt on the floor. Should I sweep before I go?
7. How can I bring the baby home to a dirty floor?
8. I'm going to make a shitty mother.
iStock/Volobuyev
9. Oww!!!!!
10. DRIVE FASTER.
11. Why is it taking so long to check into the hospital?
12. Maybe I can get an epidural while I'm filling out these forms.
13. Wait, you have to be kidding me. I can't be admitted yet?
14. But my cervix is dilating as we speak.
15. I have to be closer to 10 centimeters?
16. Please don't make me have this kid on the waiting room floor.
17. He'd never forgive me.
18. Or she.
19. I am really dying to meet this kid.
20. I'm also ready for people to stop asking me what I'm having.
