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1. Dorothy Parker vs. a drunk:
Drunk man: "I can't bear fools."
Parker: "Apparently your mother could."
2. Calvin Coolidge Vs. Some Random Lady At A White House Dinner:
Woman: Mr. Coolidge, I've made a bet against a fellow who said it was impossible to get more than two words out of you.
Coolidge: You lose.
3. Winston Churchill vs. Lady Astor:
Lady Astor: "If I was your wife, sir, I would poison your coffee."
Churchill: "If I was your husband, I would drink it.
Via diply.com
4. Judge Rockwood Hoar vs. Mr. Wendell Phillips:
Judge Rockwood Hoar, after being asking if he would attend Mr. Wendell Phillip's funeral, replied: "No, I am not invited, but I approve of it nevertheless."
5. P.G. Wodehouse on dating:
Wodehouse: "She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say 'when'."
6. Irving Stone vs. William Jennings Bryan:
Stone: "His mind was like a soup dish, wide and shallow; it could hold a small amount of nearly anything, but the slightest jarring spilled the soup into somebody's lap."
7. Truman Capote vs. Jack Kerouac:
Capote: "That's not writing, that's typing."
8. Abraham Lincoln vs. the haters:
Lincoln, after being called two-faced: "I leave it to my audience. If I had another face, do you think I would wear this one?"
Via izismile.com
