(OWN)
“Lindsay,” the documentary series about Lindsay Lohan’s post-rehab life, premiered on OWN on Sunday night.
“I’m in a really good place where I have this inner peace I’ve found,” said the actress at the start of the show, as she prepared to move from Los Angeles to New York.
But the producers didn’t hold back on the star’s troublesome past, listing each and every offense and rehab stay between 2010 and 2013, showcasing news reports, and even having people on the street give their unvarnished opinions about her.
“I know this is my last shot at doing what I love to do,” said Lohan, admitting that it took getting to a “scary place” to realize you can’t have “everything.”
In New York, Lohan settled into a hotel as she looked for apartments and dodged the paparazzi.
“I needed a change, I needed a fresh start, and I needed to be closer to my family,” she told the camera about her cross-country move. “Life can be chaotic, but it’s keeping myself calm in the middle of that — which I didn’t do before and what I’m learning to do.”
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Lohan was joined by sober coach Michael Cormier, who said his role was to help the star incorporate the tools she learned in treatment into her daily life, and personal assistant Matt Harrell, who has worked with everyone from Shaun White to Steven Tyler.
“I think if she screws this up, you can’t really go up from Oprah,” Harrell said, predicting Lohan would not “swindle” this opportunity.
The cameras followed the former child star to mom Dina’s home in Long Island, marking only the second time they’d seen each other in months.
The pair seemed to bond as they went through some of Lohan’s stuff, including an emotional diary from one of her early stints in rehab.
“Having Lindsay moving back to New York was one of the happiest days of my life,” Dina told the camera. “Because I’ve been trying and trying and she finally listened.”
Lohan noted, “There’s so much love in all of my family members… It really will be nice when that day comes when there’s no more talking, and there’s only positive things being said.”
Twenty-four days out of rehab and 20 days after returning to Manhattan, Lohan found herself stressed by her apartment search — and tempted by an offer to travel to Venice for The Canyons premiere with GQ footing the bill.
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Both she and Comier agreed the trip was a bad idea, as someone trying to maintain sobriety shouldn’t be ”celebrating” in a party environment.
Lohan, stuck inside her hotel room and unable to go to an AA meeting due to the paparazzi, opened up about her time in prison.
“They were just punishing me instead of trying to help me,” said Lohan, saying the judge and prosecution tried to make “an example” out of her in ways that didn’t make “sense.”
Lohan later ventured out to make a cameo in a friend’s lingerie shoot, and became upset when the pal tried to coerce her into a larger — and stranger — role.
“Listen to me, because now I’m getting pissed off… I don’t like being lied to because I don’t like being a liar,” cried the movie star before running out.
Lohan later explained that she never should’ve gone in the first place, saying she “compromised” her sobriety and sanity by just being “in that head space.”
Ten apartments later, Lohan picked out a place but was upset that her realtor wasn’t moving the process along, pointing out that having a set place to live is the key to figuring out a new, stable schedule.
“How can anybody have that?” Lohan exclaimed when being told that the lease called for a $10 million insurance policy. “I’m not Oprah.”
Now in a hotel for 36 days, Lohan said “the most important thing at the end of the day is maintaining the things I need to maintain to stay sane.”
“But I’m here, and showing up, and I’m sober, and I’m dealing with it,” she told the camera.
Future episodes promise to show Lohan trying to rebuild her career, fighting with her father Michael, and getting confronted by Oprah.
What do you think of the premiere?
FLASHBACK PHOTOS – Lindsay Leaves Rehab – SEE PICS!
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