“Thank god I am a conspiracy theorist and not a doomsday hysteric.” —Jack Hodgins, Bones
FOX
Dr. Jack Hodgins (TJ Thyne) is famously paranoid and leery of institutions.* Throughout Bones' nine-season run, he's let us in on many of his wilder conspiracy theories. Those theories are presented here, in order of quality.
*It is unclear how Hodgins reconciles his distrust of the establishment with his position at the government-funded Jeffersonian Institute.
"A creature yet unrecognized by scientific consensus!"
Mentioned: Season 6, "The Truth in the Myth," when a victim appears to have been relieved of his heart by a chupacabra.
Quality of theory: Chupacabras are child's play. Where's the corrupt institution? Where's the sinister plot? Terrible theory.
"You're telling me that my toe-chewing moron cousin was appointed to a secret post in a secret part of the government you can't tell me about, so you compiled a secret dossier on me, but I'm the one who's paranoid?"
Mentioned: Season 1, "The Woman in the Car," when the Jeffersonian team is undergoing a security review.
Quality of theory: Good use of the word "dossier." Unfortunately, conspiracy theories are best served shadowy and far-reaching — this is too targeted a conspiracy to be that good.
