Tell me you’ve never dreamed of sliding down the luge track after a few drinks and I will call you a liar, sir.
[Editor's note: All of these sports* are dangerous, even when executed by trained (sober) professionals. Don't drink and sport.]
*Except maybe curling. No offense, curling.
Cross-country skiing
There is nothing a drunk person wants less than to move his or her body over incredibly long (and cold) distances. Or short distances, if we're being honest here. Even a free Taco Bell with a hot tubs for booths at the end of the track wouldn't be enough motivation for a drunk-o to consider this sport fun.
Getty / Richard Heathcote
Ski jumping
There is about a -1% you're going to land this ski jump sober, let alone after a few drinks. Might as well post up at the top, crack a brew, and enjoy the view while you try to grow the beer-balls it'll take just to walk back down the stairs.
Getty / Mike Ehrmann
Biathalon
Guns are bad. Put that down, drunkie.
Getty / Alexander Hassenstein