AKA how to text like a person, a real person.
Avoid "k," "lol," and other one-word responses.
Diffuse sass with a ":)".
(But don't just say mean things and think you can get away with it just by tossing in a smiley.)
Don't drunk text anyone (who isn't a close friend).
Especially if you were fake-drunk texting.
Drunxts aren't an excuse to chat with a crush. They just make you look dumb.