These are the official rankings, decided by me, which are set in stone. Spoiler alert, in case you haven’t watched Lost yet.

Jacob

Honestly, F U JACOB. This is all your fault. Everything if your fault. That stupid dude who wore black was cooler than you.

ABC / Bad Robot / Via lostpedia.wikia.com

Man in Black/ Samuel

Seriously, he was.

A true creep. A bonafide jerk. I wish Ethan never happened.

ABC / Bad Robot / Via lost.wikia.com

Kewl name, so there's that.