Christmas is full of nightmares.
Mistletoe
Mistletoe is the spin-the-bottle of plants. No piece of nature should be allowed to elicit the middle school anxiety of required kissing.
The song "Santa Baby"
Christmas carols should not have overt sexual overtones. No one should be talking to Santa in a breathy voice. And if you're saying "But Santa has needs and urges just like the rest of us," I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT EVER. Trading on sex appeal for extravagant gifts, calling a beloved childhood figure "baby," "cutie," "honey"--Is the Christmas spirit the same thing as feeling like you need to take a shower?
RCA / Via jabberclarks.blogspot.com
Live Christmas trees
Sure Christmas trees are fun and beautiful and the smell and blah blah but then you have to throw a tree IN THE GARBAGE. A once noble pine tree goes out with your skunky old trash. It's basically like "Toy Story 3."
