Running is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma, and covered in Body Glide.
Tape their nipples.
See? Even that nice lady is confused.
Get running-themed tattoos.
What's wrong with a nice butterfly or Celtic dragon?
Post race reports on Facebook.
Or worse yet, tell you about every mile of their marathon while you're trying to eat your lunch from Five Guys.
Cry at the end of "Prefontaine."
And then get upset when people don't know who Prefontaine is.
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