I’m not gonna lie, these are, like, literally the worst words that could, like, ever come out of your mouth… right?!

"I'm not gonna lie..."

Yes you are, you LIAR. And I'm not gonna punch you in the face.

"To be fair..."

Life's not fair, so take your inflated sense of justice and shove it.

Oh, thanks for dumbing it down for me, Frasier.

Oh, I thought this whole conversation was a joke until now. Thanks for clearing that up.