We’re well into the eighth month of the year, and we’ve been so overwhelmed by a flood of mighty and divine lip fur that it’s time we take stock. Goatees do not count; have some confidence in your ‘stache, damnit.
Nick Offerman
In terms of pure mustachioed impact, Nick is number one; he deserves a lifetime achievement award for his finely combed face bush. His is not the affect of a pseudo-eccentric artist, but the firm declaration of a manhood that seems to slipping from society today. He makes me want to go into the woods, cut down some trees and build a cabin, then fix the plumbing of everyone on my block, all before tucking into a mighty ribeye. Then meeting a fellow lumberjack for lunch.
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David Lowery
It would not be surprising if Lowery, the writer/director of Ain't Them Bodies Saints, shaved off the remaining hair on his head and used it to reinforce this incredibly thick lip fur. He looks like one of those old time boxers who tossed fisticuffs at traveling carnivals. This is an accomplishment and proof that hard work and a willingness to look silly for a while — growing it couldn't have been fun — pays off.
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James Earl Jones
An immensely accomplished thespian, JEJ almost looks like his mustache is taped on, so well-defined are his whiskers. If you're looking for dignified staches, look no further. Integrity defined.
Steve Harvey
Another supremely sculpted mustache, thick and fully engulfing the upper lip. Mr. Harvey just got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and let's not pretend that his brilliant bristle isn't a major source of his success.
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