9:59 pm, July 29th, 2013
RECAP
(ABC)
Monday’s part one of “The Bachelorette” season nine finale was as dramatic as ever.
In the course of two hours, viewers saw Desiree Hartsock go from having three guys still vying for her affections — Brooks, Drew, and Chris — to being completely heartbroken after her first choice essentially broke up with her.
So, how did that happen?
It all kicked off with the bridal stylist arriving in Antigua and starting her overnight date with Drew.
“I can picture my life with him,” Hartsock said as the two explored the Caribbean island, with the 27-year-old Arizonan hunk admitting to the camera that he was ready to “get on a knee” and propose.
Hartsock later invited Drew to the Fantasy Suite, with the digital marketing analyst saying he was “ecstatic” to spend that time together.
Meanwhile, back in his hometown of Salt Lake City, Brooks confessed to his mother and sister that he was having a “hard time” figuring out whether he was “truly in love” with Hartsock.
“The idea of me proposing to her at the end of this makes me really uncomfortable,” he told his family, saying how “stressful” and “painful” the experience has been.
The marketing consultant went on highlight all that he loves about Hartsock, but wondered how best to tell her how about his hesitations and doubts.
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Before he could, Desiree had her second overnight date with Chris, with the pair traveling to the island of Barbuda for some alone time.
“I feel like I’ve been dating Chris for a long time,” said the bachelorette, noting that he would make a “perfect husband.”
Chris similarly felt that he was ready to spend his life with Hartsock, but dropped a potential dealbreaker during dinner when he revealed he’s set on the brunette moving to his hometown of Seattle if they end up together.
After initially seeming hesitant to leave California, Hartsock said she’d be “open” to relocating, and invited the mortgage broker to the fantasy suite.
Unsurprisingly, he accepted, and — equally unsurprisingly — shared with her yet another heartfelt poem.
But after two successful dates with Drew and Chris, Hartsock made a big admission to the camera.
“Even though I’m falling in love with the other guys, I have deeper feelings for Brooks,” she declared.
At the same time, Brooks was meeting with host Chris Harrison to share just how conflicted he was over his feelings for Hartsock.
As the two talked it out, the contestant said he’s ready to get married — but not to someone he didn’t share “crazy love” with.
“I feel like if I don’t feel it at this point, I’m not going to feel it,” he said. “I’ve come to the conclusion where I don’t think Des is the love of my life, and that’s what’s so difficult.”
Despite the “heartache” and “tears” he knew he’d cause, Brooks became determined to end things with Hartsock.
Sadly, as she awaited his arrival for their planned date, the reality star told the camera, “If Brooks got on one knee and proposed to me, I would definitely say yes.”
Brooks immediately told Hartsock he needed to talk, and she welled up with tears before he even managed to get anything out.
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The Utah native struggled to explain how he loves aspects of her, but “loses” his feelings when they’re not together, and when asked point-blank how he really feels, Brooks told her, ”I really want to be madly in love with you.”
Hartsock sobbed as she realized what Brooks was telling her, and asked him “why now?”
“I didn’t know before this,” he told her, saying he always felt he “needed more time,” and adding, “I really had to sit down and ask myself, ‘Do I see this lasting after?’… I don’t feel it.”
A devastated Hartsock replied, “I don’t know what to say. I love you.”
She went on to grill Brooks about his feelings — and why he seemed to share her affections before this — and lamented being unlucky in love once again.
“For once in my life, I was hopeful,” she cried. “I never felt completely loved by anyone. It sucks…. It just sucks that I loved you. I do love you, regardless.”
Hartsock continued, ”I can say it. I don’t care. I don’t care that you just broke my heart. I love you.”
Afterwards, a tearful Brooks told the camera he was “surprised” by “the love” she had for him, and was equally shocked by how much he didn’t want to leave her.
“F**king worst day of my life,” he cried afterward. “It was worse than I thought it was going to be. I felt like I never wanted to say goodbye.”
Hartsock revealed that throughout the whole competition she’s known she wanted to be with Brooks, and was left completely unsure of where to go from here.
“It throws everything off having Brooks gone. It breaks my heart, it breaks my heart knowing I have two amazing guys, guys who do wanna love and who do love me,” she told the camera, “but I just can’t love them as much as I know I have to give. And that’s not what they deserve.”
She added through tears, “Honestly, for me, it’s over.”
Next week, viewers will see whether there’s any chance Hartsock will get her fairytale ending after all.
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