Eat more meat on a stick, for starters.
Every time you experience something wonderful, like a Big Gulp, don't be afraid to profess your patriotism.
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Limit your vocabulary to words that are made in America.
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Develop a love for all types of meats on sticks.
Cut out the bread, and stick to the basic food group: bacon.
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Remember that you are a hunter, and the world is your buffet.
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