The foolproof, ironclad, indisputable, authoritative guide to crap that grows in dirt.
Kale
JUST CALL IT WHAT IT IS: LETTUCE FOR PEOPLE WHO WENT TO COLLEGE TWICE
Beets
A TIME MACHINE TO THE GREAT DEPRESSION
Parsnips
YOU HAVE EYES.
Swiss Chard
SORRY YOU CAN'T STAY NEUTRAL ON SWISS CHARD: IT SUCKS
