Learn how to get anything you want from anyone using these simple, effective, and powerful persuasion techniques. These are guaranteed to change your life, especially if you are a seal or a small house cat.
The Horizontal Trans-Galoshes Stare
How to do it: Wait until someone is prone, look quizzical, and make direct eye contact through the gap in their rain boots.
Why this technique works: People who are lying on their backs are particularly vulnerable to the persuasive arts.
Primary practitioners of this technique: Any kind of farm animal, but primarily farm seals.
Via: bunnyfood
The Sideways Tongue Extension
How to do it: Locate the object you wish to have in your possession and stare at it like you are some kind of love-addled teenager. Act as if you're prepared to throw yourself from a tall building if your passion is denied.
Why this technique works: Melodrama tugs at the heartstrings and aggravates at the same time, and the combination can be devastating.
Primary practitioners of this technique: Idiots.
Via: bunnyfood
The Flip-Flop Hostage
How to do it: Threaten the sanctity of someone's footwear.
Why this technique works: People need their shoes.
Primary practitioners of this technique: Flip-flop fetishists.
Source: imgur.com
The "My Arms Are Too Short For My Body" Technique
How to do it: Extend your tiny little arms pathetically in front of your body and squeak.
Why this technique works: Ever since the dinosaurs went extinct because they couldn't reach their breakfasts, people have had a subconscious sympathy for the small-armed.
Primary practitioners of this technique: Dinosaurs and their direct descendant, the common rabbit.
Source: bunnyfood
