Truth rating: 0
11:42 am, February 14th, 2013
(GettyImages.com)
(GettyImages.com)
“In a dig designed to push Brad Pitt’s buttons, Angelina Jolie insulted his manhood, and the devastated actor has gone on a drunken rampage!” declares the National Enquirer, an outlet whose reporting on the couple tends to alternate between despicable and nonsensical.
The magazine claims Jolie recently “told an astonished Brad that her former flame, Irish actor stud Colin Farrell, put him to shame between the sheets.”
Her “sex confession” allegedly sent Pitt into a “boozy tailspin,” allege sources for the Enquirer.
“Brad caught Angie red-handed, admitting that she thinks he’s a so-so lover,” says one insider for the facts-challenged tabloid.
The Enquirer “source” continues, “Ever since then, he’s been on a drunken rampage — consuming copious amounts of his favorite beer and red wine.”
There’s a completely natural-sounding (cough) quote!
According to the mag, Pitt was “even spotted staggering up to a Taco Bell drive-thru window” at 1 a.m. last month, with an alleged “eyewitness” claiming the actor “looked drunk, and after he realized the fast-food joint was closed, he stumbled off into the early morning darkness.”
Does the Enquirer even realize anymore how ridiculous this all sounds?
In any case, the tabloid insists that a booze-addled Pitt has been on an extended bender ever since he allegedly first heard Jolie complaining about her sex life during a phone call with ex-husband Billy Bob Thornton.
“Angie told Billy Bob that her love life with Brad had gone cold, and she missed the wild, passionate sex she’d had with Colin,” says the Enquirer source.
We wonder whether the “source” was hiding in a closet or behind a plant when he or she supposedly overheard this alleged Jolie-Thornton conversation?
The Enquirer goes on to explain how an enraged, eavesdropping Pitt confronted Jolie and forced her to admit details of her supposed sex life with Farrell, and that she still “lusts” for him, resulting in Pitt’s extended “drunken rage.”
ENOUGH.
First of all, it’s pretty embarrassing for the Enquirer to be borrowing long-since debunked Jolie-Farrell dirt from the likes of Perez Hilton.
Moreover, none of this is true.
The Enquirer has been desperate — desperate — to spin salacious “sex” scandals about Jolie and Pitt, and to portray him as a drunk consumed by jealousy over her previous relationships.
In the tabloid’s alternate reality, Pitt is allegedly outraged over everything from Jolie’s eighth-grade “hookup” to her non-existent “plans to reunite” with Thornton.
EVERY story has been either false or grossly sensational.
This latest bogus report is more of the same.
A source close to the couple tells Gossip Cop the Enquirer story is “a joke.”
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