It takes a lot more than blinding sparkles to make a good pageant dress. Here's a ranking of the Miss Universe evening gowns, from worst to best.
Miss Venezuela
She gets points for trying something different with the stripes but loses more points for looking like a big green sparkle slinky. Also the lack of volume and train makes her look like a caterpillar.
Grade: F
Image by David Becker / Getty Images
Miss Brazil
The contrasting stripes of sparkles add a small amount of intrigue but not enough to keep me from wondering if those sparkly blue spheres behind her are actually exercise balls that allow the contestants and host Giulana Rancic to do crunches between segments. Also the crispy nature of the fabric cheapens this too much for me.
Grade: D-
Image by David Becker / Getty Images
Miss Hungary
I'm sorry, did she come from getting married in one of Miss Universe base camp city Las Vegas's nearby wedding chapels? This is a wedding dress, not an outrageous or interesting pageant gown. Where's the intrigue? The weird element that makes us remember this moment? That said, it's a better looking wedding dress than you see on 99% of the eight million reality shows that are about picking out wedding dresses.
Grade: D-
Image by David Becker / Getty Images
Miss Russia
This looks like a sparkly bathing suit with an oversized sarong hanging off it. Design-wise it doesn't quite cohere for me. If this were Project Runway, you know Nina would ask why the designer spent so much time on the sparkly bodice but not the skirt.
Grade: D
Image by David Becker / Getty Images
