The dumbest of the dumb.
Plaxico Burress Shoots Himself In The Leg, Literally
Plax wore sweatpants to a club. Plax brought an illegal handgun to a club. Plax put said illegal handgun in the waistband of his sweats. One accidental gunshot wound to the thigh, and two seasons missed for a jail sentence later, Plax is finally back. He wins this title in a rout.
Image by Seth Wenig / AP
Gus Frerotte Headbutts A Wall, Sprains His Neck
I know things haven't always been great for the Skins, but it's a bad sign if your quarterback is so excited to score a touchdown that he doesn't know how to express his happiness and just smashes his head against a wall. There's "act like you've been there before," and there's "no seriously, have you ever been there before?"
Brian Anderson Puts A Hot Iron To His Face, Burns His Face
Thought experiment. You want to iron your clothes, but you're not sure if the iron is hot. Do you:
A. Quickly touch the iron with a finger.
B. Rub the iron on the ironing board and feel the ironing board.
C. Put your hand near it to see if you feel heat radiating.
D. Put it against your face.
If you chose D, you're an idiot and probably former Diamondbacks pitcher Brian Anderson.
Amar'e Stoudemire Punches Fire Extinguisher, Hurts Hand
Playing the Miami Heat this year must have been frustrating. When a team has that many weapons, it becomes almost impossible to stop. So no one can really blame Amar'e for being frustrated. What they can blame Amar'e for is taking that frustration and manifesting it by smacking a fire extinguisher's case. It's not like when people hurt themselves hitting a pad (see Irving, Kyrie or Frerotte, Gus). Because at least when you hit a pad, there's an expectation that it's soft. No one has ever thought that punching metal would be pain-free. And Amar'e is included in that "no one," because he obviously wasn't thinking here.
Source: deadspin.com
